Yes, America’s Next Top Model is still on the air. Yes, Tyra Banks is still doing ridiculous shit for ratings, like making her models walk down a runway while gigantic gold-plated gongs are swinging at their heads. This week, a contestant named Amanda got her ass kicked – not once, but twice.

Stay tuned next week, when the contestants have to pose for a photo in the passenger seat of a Toyota being driven by Stevie Wonder. I can’t wait!

If you’re watching American Idol tonight, or are looking for a show recap tomorrow, check out WE HATE IDOL’s live-blog! You’ll find episode photos, performance rundowns, and snarky commentary from Jillian Madison. We’ll see you there.

Top Chef is premiering tonight on Bravo TV. You know what that means! Time to meet the contestants and make satirical comments based on their appearances!
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Ron DuPrat

Kevin Gillespie

Preeti Mistry

Jesse Sandlin

Big Brother season 11 starts on Thursday July 9 at 8 pm. That can only mean one thing: time to make petty comments on the new housemates based solely on their appearances!

BRADEN
Our First Impression: rejected soap opera actor.
Hair gel, two watches, and a smug smile?
All the signs are there: this tool must have a tiny peen.

CASEY
Our First Impression: Wal-Mart jewelry department manager

CHIMA
Our First Impression: The transvestite was figurine of Diana Ross

We interrupt this blog to bring you a brief She’s Got The Look Episode 3 recap:

Forget the cheesy foxtrots. The real story on last night’s episode of So You Think You Can Dance was Mia Michaels and her fugly old man glasses.

(Work THAT into a routine, honey.)

A stampede breaks out at NYC’s Top Model audition. With video.