SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE, TELEVISION »

Forget the cheesy foxtrots. The real story on last night’s episode of So You Think You Can Dance was Mia Michaels and her fugly old man glasses.

(Work THAT into a routine, honey.)

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE, TELEVISION, TV Recaps »

After several repeat performances of “favorite” dances, a weak performance by the Jonas brothers, an underwhelming routine by judge Mary Murphy, and a tap dance routine danced by judge Nigel Lythgoe himself, JOSHUA ALLEN won So You Think You Can Dance (Season 4). He won $250,000 and the title of “America’s Favorite Dancer.”

Twitch was the runner up. He walked away with, well, nothing.

Katee was the “best girl” and won a surprise $50k. Courtney was America’s 4th favorite dancer.

No, Mia Michaels didn’t dance. She must have been too busy applying bleach to her roots, staring in the mirror, and/or making up more stupid words.

SEE YOU NEXT SEASON!

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE, TV Recaps »

Chelsie Hightower and Mark Kanemura were eliminated from the cast of So You Think You Can Dance tonight.

THE FINAL FOUR DANCERS: Joshua, Katee, Twitch, and Courtney

See you next week for more DANCE!

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE, TV Recaps »

On tonight’s show, the top 6 dancers battled it out for our votes! And, for the first time this season, the show was only an hour long… HALLELUJAH!

This week the girls picked new partners out of one of Samantha Ronson’s hats. AND, each person danced a solo along with 2 team dances.

Tonight’s judges: Mary Murphy, and Nigel Lythgoe, and the always dull Adam Shankman.

COUPLE #1: COURTNEY GALIANO and MARK KANEMURA
STYLE (Dance #1): Viennese Waltz choreographed by Jason Gilkison (some Australian dude)
SONG (Dance #1): The Time Of My Life – David Cook

PH Commentary: Mark kept touching Courtney’s boob during the practice session, and unfortunately, that was the most entertaining footage of their first dance. It was a typical waltz, and it was nothing special. The lifts were effortless and well done, but overall, it was just boring. The judges were underwhelmed. The worst part of it all? The David Cook “Time Of My Life” song. BARF.

THEIR SECOND DANCE: COURTNEY GALIANO and MARK KANEMURA
STYLE (Dance #2): Jazz hop choreographed by Sonja Tayeh
SONG (Dance #2): The Garden – Mirah

PH Commentary: This was a dark, edgy routine choreographed by that weird woman with the half-shaved head, and it looked far more like a Contemporary piece than a Jazz routine. The choreography was awful, but they rocked it the best they could. These two dancers work well together and they made the dance look the best it could have looked. The judges just kissed choreographer Sonja’s ass, instead of talking about Courtney and Mark’s performance. They called Sonja a “dark new presence” on the show. What is this, Poltergeist? DON’T LET THE EVIL IN! Save yourselves!

COUPLE #2: KATEE SHEAN and JOSHUA ALLEN
STYLE (Dance #1): Contemporary choreographed by Tyce DiOrio
SONG (Dance #1): All By Myself – Celine Dion

PH Commentary: Reunited, and it feels soooo good! This was, by far, the best routine of the night and one of the best we’ve seen in weeks. It was a story about a “couple in love” and Katee & Josh nailed it like a foreclosing house on Extreme Makeover. Mary Murphy called it “the most beautiful thing” she’s seen on the show. Oh come on. More beautiful than the sight of Will Wingfield pretending to be humble after getting kicked off the show? Not a chance!

THEIR SECOND DANCE: KATEE SHEAN and JOSHUA ALLEN
STYLE (Dance #2): Pasa Doble choreographed by Jason Gilkison
SONG (Dance #2): Filet – Le Reve

PH Commentary: I don’t want Joshua to wear his stocking cap ever again. I hate it. It looks dirty and stupid and dated. Unless you’re a member of Naughty By Nature and this is 1993, get that shit off. Having said that, he did a great job in this creepy routine. If the guys in the movie 300 danced, this is how they would have done it. It was very powerful, and at times, I didn’t know if Joshua was going to catch Katee, or use her as a shield to defend himself against an unwieldy spear. THIS IS SPARTA! The judges loved it, and I have on doubt these two will be safe tomorrow night.

COUPLE #3: CHELSIE HIGHTOWER and STEVEN “TWITCH” BOSS
STYLE (Dance #1): Mambo choreographed by Tony and Meredith
SONG (Dance #2): Ahora Me Toca A Mi – Victor Manuelle

PH Commentary: This was one of the worst routines of the year. Not even Chelsie’s rotating hips could save it. Boring, boring, boring. Twitch did the best he could, considering he has no Latin training other than the Ortega taco shells he cooked up last night for dinner. The judges just complimented Chelsie’s “red dress” because they had nothing else to say about this boring routine, either. I think these two will find themselves in the bottom tomorrow night.

THEIR SECOND DANCE: CHELSIE HIGHTOWER and STEVEN “TWITCH” BOSS
STYLE (Dance #2): Hip Hop choreographed by Tabitha and Napoleon
SONG (Dance #2): Control – The Vitamin String Quartet
PH Commentary: This was a routine about TWO PEOPLE AND A STICK. Literally. Whoever had control over the sick got to be the conductor of the music. Frankly, Chelsie SUCKS at hip hop. Unless she’s shaking her hips, she doesn’t know what to do with herself. This routine was A-W-F-U-L and they knew it. You could literally see the disappointment in Tabitha and Napoleon’s face. After this dance, and the awful Mambo earlier in the evening, I am confident these two will be in the bottom tomorrow.

So – who will be going home tomorrow night? Stay tuned, we’ll bring you the results as soon as they go down!

[photos: Fox]

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE, TV Recaps »

Will Wingfield was thrown off of So You Think You Can Dance tonight! My faith in the American public has been renewed!

THE RESULTS:

The bottom two guys tonight were: WILL WINGFIELD and STEPHEN “TWITCH” BOSS
The bottom two girls tonight were: COMFORT FEDOKE and COURTNEY GALIANO

Ultimately, Comfort and Will were kicked off the show. We’re now down to the final six dancers.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE, TV Recaps »

On tonight’s show, the top 8 dancers battled it out for our votes! This week the guys picked new partners out of a hat. AND, each person danced a solo along with 2 team dances. Tonight’s judges: Mary Murphy, and Nigel Lythgoe, and Toni Basil (that woman who sang Mickey in 1982. Why is she here?! Read on, the truth reveals itself!)

After watching this show for the last several weeks, I feel compelled to say a few things before the recap, so bear with me please:

I don’t dislike the dancers on this show (okay, fine, except Will Wingfield). I think they’re mostly a talented bunch- they work hard and it shows. What I dislike is the over the top ass kissing between the choreographers and the judges, and the blatant way the judges try to glorify their favorite dancers and attempt to manipulate the audience into voting for them. Can a choreographer deliver a stunning routine every time? OF COURSE NOT. But you wouldn’t know that if you watched this show. Do you think the judges are going to turn around and say, “Sorry, Mia, that was no good”? They are not, even though that is the truth most of the time.

An even bigger bone of contention: THERE IS NO IMPARTIALITY on this show. The fact that Will Wingfield’s mentor, Debbie Allen, is a longtime friend and one time panelist on the show proves that. If Comfort bounces her left shoulder too high for one beat in a performance, they’re all over her. But when Will stumbles and almost faceplants, it doesn’t even get a mention. Everything he does is perfect, didn’t you know?! Please. I think there is way too much favoritism, and that is grossly unfair for a talent competition of this magnitude. That’s like Cher hosting a beauty pageant and Chastity Bono winning… or Simon letting his best friend’s son on be a contestant on American Idol, and then screaming about how great he was every week. If you say something long enough and loud enough, stupid people start to believe it and buy into the hype, and that’s what is happening here.

END RANT. And now – on with the review of what was, by far, the most boring episode of the season!

COUPLE #1: COURTNEY GALIANO and WILL WINGFIELD
STYLE (Dance #1): Samba choreographed by Jean-Mark Genereux
SONG (Dance #1): I Fell In Love With The DK – Che’Nelle

PH Commentary: Will stumbled and almost fell in the first 3 seconds of the dance, and Courtney looked like an O’Cedar dust mop (complete with fringe that’s been scientifically proven to trap microscopic dust mites). Frankly, Courtney carried WILL throughout this entire performance. Will was awful. He was stiff, boring, and dull. And guess what, none of the judges mentioned his near-faceplant. Can you believe it?! The sight of him attempting to be sexy in that black mesh tank top, borrowed from Brian Kinney’s Queer As Folk club collection, made me want to vomit (and for the record, that’s no offense to Brian Kinney. I think Gale Harold would look good in a garbage bag – Will Wingfield needs a lot more help from wardrobe and makeup).

THEIR SECOND DANCE: COURTNEY GALIANO and WILL WINGFIELD
STYLE (Dance #2): Slow Hip hop choreographed by Tabitha and Napoleon
SONG (Dance #2): Like You’ll Never See Me Again – Alicia Keyes
PH Commentary: This was supposed to be a routine about a dead guy coming back to haunt the girl he loved while he was alive. Will played the part of DEAD GUY perfectly – lifeless, still, and really creepy to look at. During practice, cocky Will said this would become “So You Think You Can Dance” history. Hardly. The studio was quieter than my college library during finals week, and no one in the audience was into it at all. Awful!

COUPLE #2: KATEE SHEAN and STEPHEN “TWITCH” BOSS
STYLE (Dance #1): Contemporary choreographed by Mia Michaels
SONG (Dance #1): Mercy – Duffy

PH Commentary: This was supposed to be a routine about a psycho, co-dependent ex-girlfriend. Instead, it was a routine about… well… nothing. Here’s what happened: Katie burst through a fake door that had been brought on stage, and then the two literally MADE OUT for 10 seconds. I’m not talking a peck on the cheek… I’m talking “Katee’s tongue in Twitch’s mouth” making out. The routine was so poorly choreographed that Mia had to resort to a 10-second long kiss to divert attention from the fact that nothing else was going on. Dancing? There wasn’t any! But that didn’t stop Nigel from calling it “one of the most entertaining routines ever on the show.” Of course they did. Mia Michaels choreographed it. Are these judges on crack? Seriously. I know they can’t sit there and say “this sucked” every 5 seconds, but that would be far more realistic based on what we’ve seen tonight.

THEIR SECOND DANCE: KATEE SHEAN and STEPHEN “TWITCH” BOSS
STYLE (Dance #2): Broadway choreographed by Tyce DiOrio
SONG (Dance #2): Sweet Georgia Brown – Bubbling Brown Sugar
PH Commentary: A routine about a girl who wants a guy, but the guy is like “Bitch, please.” This was yet another incredibly boring routine, with moves straight out of a 4th grade school play. They did the best they could, with the crappy routine they were given. Of course, the judges liked it… and I think these two will be safe tomorrow night.

COUPLE #3: COMFORT FEDOKE and MARK KANEMURA
STYLE (Dance #1): Hip Hop choreographed by Tabitha and Napoleon
SONG (Dance #2): Party People – Fergie

PH Commentary: This was a routine about the stuff kids do when they’re trapped in detention after school. What a fabulous idea, right? Too bad it more closely resembled what happens in a retirement community when the lights go down. It was slow, dull, and I could have sworn I heard Comfort mumble “O 64… O SIX FOUR.” The judges were under-enthused, but said they liked it. Guest judge Toni said she takes dance lessons from Tabitha and Napoleon – so of course, she said the choreography was great. So that explains how she got on the show! Tabitha and Napoleon plucked someone from their vast celebrity talent base! (sarcasm people) Just another example of the judges and choreographers KISSING EACH OTHER’S ASSES.

THEIR SECOND DANCE: COMFORT FEDOKE and MARK KANEMURA
STYLE (Dance #2): Foxtrot choreographed by Jean-Mark Genereux
SONG (Dance #2): Lady Luck – The Brian Setzer Orchestra
PH Commentary: These two know as much about the foxtrot as Pamela Anderson knows about quantum physics. Comfort wore a nightgown, and Mark wore a tux, as they fumbled through their second boring routine of the night. The judges hated it, too. The title of the song was Lady Luck – which is what they’re going to need tomorrow, because these two are going to be in the bottom.

COUPLE #4: JOSHUA ALLEN and CHELSIE HIGHTOWER
STYLE (Dance #1): Argentine Tango choreographed by Dmitry Chaplin
SONG (Dance #1): A Los Amigos – Forever Tango (Original Cast)

PH Commentary: Officially the mos boring dance of the season. Really, guys. You have no idea. Even more painful: the routine was set to the sounds of a broken accordion. Nigel had no commentary other than it was “technical” (translation: DREADFUL). He then said Joshua has the “biggest butt in the competition.” Mary said it was “so much more sexier” than the last dance. And somewhere in America, her 5th grade grammar teacher clutched her hand to her chest and collapsed.

THEIR SECOND DANCE: JOSHUA ALLEN and CHELSIE HIGHTOWER
STYLE (Dance #2): Disco choreographed by Dorianna Sanchez
SONG (Dance #2): Everlasting Love – Gloria Estefan

PH Commentary: This was a TRAIN WRECK of a performance, which pains me to say, because these are my 2 favorite dancers on the show. I don’t know if they were tired because it was the end of a long night, or if they were in the back drinking some purple drank. Joshua looked like he was going to collapse and Chelsie was breathing harder than a Kenyan runner after mile 97 of a distance marathon. They weren’t in synch, they weren’t working together, and they quit half way through the performance. I do think they are too loved by the audience at home to be in the bottom, but we will see.

So – who will be going home tomorrow night? Stay tuned, we’ll bring you the results as soon as they go down!

[photos courtesy of Fox]

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE, TV Recaps »

Welcome back – time for yet another elimination episode! Starting tonight, the judges no longer decide who stays and who goes. It is up to the viewers at home, and the decision is based on viewer votes.

Tonight’s bottom two girls: COMFORT and KHERINGTON
Tonight’s bottom two guys: MARK and GEV

In the end, KHERINGTON AND GEV were eliminated from the competition.

See you next week for more dance!