Articles in the bestofph Category
MOVIES, bestofph, lists »
Twilight may have started out as a simple book series, but these days, it’s the reason thousands of people are creating ugly, homemade vampire crafts and selling them on the internet. We’ve compiled the top 10 Stupidest Twilight Items on Etsy.com – just in time for the big New Moon release. Enjoy.
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1. I Wish My Daddy Sparkled Onesie (via) Listen, kid. If your daddy sparkled in real life, he’d be married to a guy named Vincent. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. |
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2. “Edward’s Eyes” eyeshadow (via) It may look like a pile of elephant shit, but don’t be fooled. It’s eyeshadow, colored like Edward’s eyes! Wow. That’s a stretch, isn’t it? This bullshit product is desperately trying to link itself to Twilight, just to trick you into spending your money. It was created by an out of touch middle aged woman, and her teen daughter named “Daya.” That says it all. |
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3. Twilight Party PDF Planning Kit (via) If you need a $10 Adobe PDF document to help you plan a Twilight party, you should just kill yourself now. I’m serious. |
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4. Edward Vinyl Wall Decal (via) Even more disturbing than the decal itself is the look on that little girl’s face. What is she, 7 years old? Why the hell is she longingly looking off into the distance like that? Way to exploit a kid to make a sale. |
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5. Twilight Pink Converse Sneakers (via) These ask, “do I dazzle you?” These do something to me, but I don’t know if dazzle is the right word. |
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6. Edward/Bella Text Decal (via) A wall decal that reads: “I’m just a Bella waiting for my Edward.” Guess what? You’re going to be waiting for a very long time. Know why? Because IT’S A FUCKING FAKE MOVIE, YOU MORON. |
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7. Vampire With A Volvo Text Decal (via) Another wall decal from the same seller. This one reads: “Forget a prince with a horse, I want a vampire with a Volvo.” Good luck with that. Let us know how it turns out. |
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8. Sparking Edward Bath Bombs (via) I don’t know exactly what a “sparkling bath bomb” is, but that thing looks like a testicle with a nasty STD. Whatever it is, it has absolutely nothing to do with Twilight. And I certainly don’t want it anywhere near my bathtub. |
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9. “I Drive Like A Cullen” keychain (via) Really? What does that even mean? You stop your Volvo at all railroad crossings? |
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10. Edward Laptop Decal (via) No. You don’t dazzle me. But you do make my $2500 laptop look like a cheap piece of shit, so thanks for that. |
POP CULTURE NEWS, bestofph »
These were published in a magazine in 1938. At the time, they weren’t supposed to be funny. Now, 70 years later, THEY’RE HILARIOUS.
Men don’t like it when women borrow their handkerchief and get lipstick on it. Never forget.
bestofph, lists »
How to create a popular website in 3 steps:
1. Find something ugly that needs to be made fun of
2. Post pictures of it, along with snarky commentary
3. Sit back and wait for your server to crash
Cakewrecks and People Of Walmart are so yesterday. This week, it’s all about Regretsy – a site that ranks on the ugliest homemade crafts sold on Etsy.com. Here are their top 10 funniest finds:
TELEVISION, bestofph, lists »
I love Bravo. It’s home to some of my favorite reality TV shows, from Top Chef to Real Housewives. It’s also home to people with some of the worst haircuts I’ve ever seen in my life. Here are the 10 worst haircuts in the history of Bravo TV:
10. CARLA HALL (Top Chef, Season 5)
Carla may think her hair says “fun loving and youthful,” but it really says “escaped mental patient.”
9. ASHLEY MERRIMAN (Top Chef, Season 6)
Believe it or not, this is a photo of Ashley on a good hair day. Free advice: if you leave your house in the morning with your head looking like one of Shrek’s used Q-Tips, it might be time to consider a different hair style.
8. WENDY PEPPER (Project Runway, Season 1)
Be still my beating heart: it looks like Paula Poundstone after a Tyra Banks makeover. She’s totally smiling with her eyes.
7. KATHY GRIFFIN (My Life On The D List)
The only woman in Hollywood who’s proudly wearing a collection of Carrot Top’s shaved pubic hairs on her head.
