POPHANGOVER » SHEAR GENIUS

Shear Genius Season 2 Winner: DEE

POPHANGOVER — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 03:00:30 +0000

DEE won tonight’s competition, and was named the Shear Genius Season 2 winner. She won $100,000, an apprenticeship with Nexxus, and the opportunity to style hair for an Allure magazine photo shoot. Charlie was the runner-up, and Daniel won Fan Favorite. Other posts on Pophangover:Shear Genius: Daniel Didn’t Make The Cut (Episode 209)Shear Genius: Gail Didn’t Make The Cut (Episode 205)Shear Genius: Glenn Didn’t Make The Cut (Episode 206)Shear Genius: Paulo Didn’t Make The Cut (Episode 208 Recap)Shear Genius: Meredith Doesn’t Make The Cut Other posts on Pophangover:

Shear Genius: Daniel Didn’t Make The Cut (Episode 209)

Jillian Madison — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 14:58:09 +0000

Shear Genius Episode #209 Recap

We’re down to the final four! Too bad the short cuts challenge was really boring this week. The stylists had to create separate, distinctive looks for identical twins. Guest judge Jose Eber told the finalists to create a style that captured their clients’ personalities – a hard task, considering these girls were about as interesting as a pile of rocks. Nicole ended up winning, because she made one twin a blonde and the other a brunette. I have no clue how that “showcased their personalities” considering all these two girls gave her to go on was “WE LOVE CHRISTINA AGUILERA.”

WIth the win, Nicole earned immunity and a guaranteed spot in the final episode which airs next week. I was too distracted by the huge cold sore on Daniel’s lower lip to care that Nicole, my least favorite stylist, won. Don’t they have Abreva in Dallas?

Next came the elimination challenge. Each finalist had to create an avant guard hair style representing a season for a photo shoot. Things didn’t go well at all. Nicole’s “winter” model got fake snow all over her hair that made her look like she had a dandruff problem. Dee’s “autumn” model jumped on a trampolene but her hair was virtually glued to her head. Charlie’s “spring” model looked like the bride of Frankenstein on a swing at the park, and Daniel’s “summer” model looked hideous after she got hosed down like she was on fire.

The photographer, Michael Grecco, was a condescending, rude prick from the moment he stepped on stage. Who the hell does this guy think he is? I’ve never even heard of him. Dee said, “You don’t have to be a cocky asshole to be a great artist.” Precisely. This man is far too ugly to be so narcissistic. He’s balding, and he has a disfigured, meaty nose that desperately needs rhinoplasty. He literally looks like the monster from Fraggle Rock.

After judging, Charlie was named the winner, and Daniel was sent home. Kim Vo said Daniel’s style was “like taking a sleeping pill and a laxative in one night.” Oh come on, Kim. It was bad, but it wasn’t “shit your pants in your sleep” bad.

The finale airs next week. It’s down to Charlie, Dee, and Nicole.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW OUR SHEAR GENIUS PHOTO GALLERY FOR MORE PICS FROM THIS EPISODE

[photos: bravo]

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Shear Genius: Paulo Didn’t Make The Cut (Episode 208 Recap)

Jillian Madison — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 13:36:13 +0000

This week on Shear Genius: For the short cuts challenge, the stylists were told they’d have to create new looks for “busy clients.” Suddenly and without warning, a gaggle of little girls came rushing into the salon, screaming and yelling like they were in the front row at a Miley Cyrus concert. It was like snack time at Kindercare up in there, minus all the crushed graham crackers.

Jaclyn Smith instructed the stylists to “create a look that will help the girls make a great first impression on their first day of school.” That’s when my eyes rolled into the back of my head. THESE GIRLS ARE SIX. They’ll be spending the next year eating paste, making spaghetti out of play dough, and exploring the benefits of toilets. Who could they possibly need to impress?

BANGS, BANGS, AND MORE BANGS! Seriously, there were more bangs in that salon than at the Macy’s 4th Of July Fireworks Extravaganza. Daniel won the challenge, even though he made his little girl look like a 5th runner up at a Texas child beauty pageant. The bottom two were Paulo and Dee. Paulo’s look was unfinished and messy, and Dee cut the most uneven, crooked bangs I’ve ever seen in my life.

For the elimination challenge, each stylist had to create a new look for one of the other stylists’ female family members. The top two stylists were Dee and Charlie. Dee added punky red striped to Paulo’s cousin’s black hair, but Charlie won for the new short style he gave to Daniel’s mom. Personally, I hated the look. It screamed “Sharon Stone after getting butchered at Super Cuts.”

The bottom two were Nicole and Paulo. Nicole gave Dee’s mother a short G.I. Jane buzz cut that made her look like she was recovering from cancer. Her hair literally looked spray painted on.

In the end, PAULO WAS ELIMINATED for the style he created for Charlie’s sister. He gave her the same shaggy, layered hair cut that he gives EVERY client. It was choppy and detached, sort of like the plot of Batman: Dark Knight.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW OUR SHEAR GENIUS PHOTO GALLERY:

[photos: bravo]

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Shear Genius: Nekisa Didn’t Make The Cut (Episode 207)

POPHANGOVER — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:53:08 +0000

[editor's note: brief review this week, we're on vacation until 8/10]

This week on Shear Genius: the stylists had to create “unusual, futuristic looks” without hair spray or mousse. And by the way, no hair spray or mousse could be used – they had to design the look using stuff found in a typical kitchen.

Amongst the sculpting tools were tuna, squid, and anchovies. Lovely, if you want your head to smell like low tide on Nantucket and/or if you want every cat in a 25 mile radius to mistake your hair for “dinner.”

Other styling tools made available to the contestants: quince paste, beets, butter, peanut butter, molasses, caramel, shortening, avocado, mustard, tomato juice, flour, salt, and egg whites.

The results were hideous. Nekisa created an up-do with molasses and MUSTARD YELLOW BANGS. Nicole stuck a whole squid on the top of her client’s head. And Daniel smothered his client’s head in peanut butter and beets. In the end, Nicole lost, and Paolo won for a coconut oil/sugar crystal “ice princess” look.

The elimination challenge: the stylists had to create a new look FOR DOGS and their handlers. Daniel and Dee were the top two, and Dee won.

The bottom three: Charlie, Paulo, and Nekisa. In the end, Nekisa got kicked off the show for giving her dog an uneven cut with BANGS. Finally. She’s spent more time on the bottom than Jenna Jamison.

Episode Photos:

[photos: bravo]

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Shear Genius: Glenn Didn’t Make The Cut (Episode 206)

Jillian Madison — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 04:19:26 +0000

Shear Genius: Episode 206 Recap (the Charlie’s Angels episode)

Another week, another episode of Shear Genius!

The show opened with the short cut challenge. The final 7 stylists were told to color their client’s hair in radical colors – and that’s just what they did. You’d either have to be the lead singer in a punk rock band, or bald, to appreciate the dramatic results. To put it another way, the clients looked like they were all thrown up on by a fat kid who ate too many Skittles.

Nekisa’s color was dingy and dull. She tried to blame her poor performance on a clogged sink. Bitch, please. That’s like me trying to blame my bad cooking on the guy who bagged my groceries at the supermarket.

Paulo’s results were no better. He overprocessed his client’s hair and made her head look like a dark purple eggplant. Dee did a technical, colorful bird of paradise style, but Charlie was named the winner of the challenge even though he made his client look like the lead singer of the B-52s with a purple horse tail.

Time for the Charlie’s Angels elimination challenge! The stylists worked in teams of two, and each team had two hours to reinvent and update the three signature Charlie’s Angels hair styles. Since Charlie won the last challenge, he got to pick the teams and serve as an “assistant” to the other stylists for the challenge.

How did it go? Team Dee and Nekisa fought like an old married couple the entire time. Dee is a huge control freak, but in this case, she had a right to be. Nekisa couldn’t cut her way out of a paper bag. Meanwhile, Nicole just did whatever her teammate Glenn told her to do, and Daniel and Paulo were more boring to watch than an episode of MASH.

The guest judge for this challenge was none other than Charlie’s Angels co-star Kate Jackson, and frankly, she looked like she rather would have been at the dentist getting a root canal than sitting on that stage. When asked about her thoughts on the challenge, she actually said, “I have no words about it. This was over 30 years ago.” Hi, I’ll take “awkward silence” for $500, Alex.

The teams struggled most with the FARRAH FAWCET look. Nekisa gave her “Farrah” these repulsive, stringy curls (there were literally huge, gaping holes in the style). Glenn’s “Farrah” was no better – she looked like a cross between Nelly Olsen from Little House, and a Hasidic Jew. And Daniel’s “Farrah” looked like every blonde girl walking around the mall in Dallas, Texas on a Saturday night.

Jaclyn Smith and Kate Jackson hated ALL of the styles, and called them all “dated and ugly.” None of the styles had any shine or life. There was no winner tonight, and rightfully so. If Charlie saw those angels, he would have thrown up and then quit his job.

The bottom two stylists were Glenn and Nekisa (AGAIN!!!) and ultimately, Glenn was sent home. Why? Glenn is old and boring, and Nekisa is young(er) and hot(ter) and is much better for the show’s ratings. Why else would they keep Nekisa after her overwhelmingly poor performances?

[photos: bravo]

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Shear Genius: Gail Didn’t Make The Cut (Episode 205)

Jillian Madison — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 04:51:35 +0000

Shear Genius: Episode 205 Recap

The final 8 contestants hit the beach for the short cut challenge, under the watchful eye of celebrity stylist Oscar Blandi. Before Charlie could even get any SPF 45 on his shiny bald head, 8 surfer dudes with soaking wet hair came flying out of the ocean like David Hasselhoff just yelled “SHARK.”

The stylists had to give the guys clean, polished looks… WITHOUT WASHING THEIR NASTY, SALTY HAIR. Gross. All the action took place on the beach, and of course, there were some hair disasters. Gail gave her client a hideous combover, and Daniel gave his client flyaway rooster strands. In the end, Glenn lost the challenge because she made her rocker dude look way “too feminine.” That’s an understatement. The guy was a floral print skirt away from turning to the camera, pulling a can of FDS spray out of his pocket, and talking about feminine freshness.

Nicole and Dee were the top 2 stylists, and Nicole was named the short cut challenge winner. Gag me.

The contestants weren’t even back in the salon for 30 seconds before a bunch of women showed up, ripped off their wigs, and started talking about alopecia (the disease that prevents hair from growing). Paolo and Nicole immediately started crying… so either Jaclyn Smith was cutting some onion over by the sinks, or they were moved by the plight of these women. Discuss amongst yourselves.

The stylists then spent the next few hours cutting and coloring some of the cheapest, most hideous wigs I’ve ever seen in my life. It looked like the producers just got them off the discount rack at a Halloween store. Charlie gave his client the dreaded “helmet head” and Gail managed to exactly match her client’s hair color to her skin tone. The poor woman looked awful! I could have done a better job with hedge clippers and some mousse.

The top 2 stylists were Paolo and Nicole… THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE WHO CRIED. Coincidence or not?! Paolo was the winner, but he didn’t get immunity because they’re no longer offering it. Sucks to be him.

The bottom 3 stylists were Charlie, Nekisa (again), and Gail. Ultimately, Gail was sent home.

[photos: bravo]

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Shear Genius: Meredith Doesn’t Make The Cut

Jillian Madison — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 05:00:14 +0000

On tonight’s episode of Shear Genius: after sucking fairly hardcore, Charlie, Meredith & Nekisa found themselves in the bottom 3. In the end, MEREDITH was kicked off the show. She said she was sent home because “people with straight hair just don’t get curly hair.” Hi, your ugly weave is straight so what the hell are you talking about?

I have straight hair, and frankly, what I don’t get are Meredith’s HIDEOUS EYEBROWS. Does she not have a mirror? They look like the first 30 seconds of a roller coaster track, complete with that thrilling first drop. They need serious help.

She also looks like she just stepped off the TRANNY TRAIN. She has masculine features with a freakishly thick neck. Oh well. If she doesn’t make it as a stylist, she can always work nights as a drag queen. I hear the alias MIZZ UNDASTOOD is available.

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