(Work THAT into a routine, honey.)

Other posts on Pophangover:

1. So You Think You Can Dance Winner: JOSHUA
2. Jillian Michaels Admits She’s Open To Bisexuality, Surprising Exactly NO ONE
3. UPDATE: Rayven and Jamie kicked off Dance
4. Jillian Michaels Designing Fitness Bootcamp Game For Wii Fit
5. UPDATE: Susie and Marquis kicked off Dance

Twitch was the runner up. He walked away with, well, nothing.

Katee was the “best girl” and won a surprise $50k. Courtney was America’s 4th favorite dancer.

No, Mia Michaels didn’t dance. She must have been too busy applying bleach to her roots, staring in the mirror, and/or making up more stupid words.

SEE YOU NEXT SEASON!

Other posts on Pophangover:

1. UPDATE: Chelsie and Mark kicked off Dance
2. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #418 Review (Top 6)
3. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #417 Review (Top 8)
4. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #416 Review (Top 10)
5. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #413 Review (Top 16)

THE FINAL FOUR DANCERS: Joshua, Katee, Twitch, and Courtney

See you next week for more DANCE!

Other posts on Pophangover:

1. UPDATE: Comfort and Will kicked off Dance
2. UPDATE: Kourtni and Matt kicked off Dance
3. UPDATE: Comfort and Thayne kicked off Dance
4. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #418 Review (Top 6)
5. UPDATE: Kherington and Gev kicked off Dance

This week the girls picked new partners out of one of Samantha Ronson’s hats. AND, each person danced a solo along with 2 team dances.

Tonight’s judges: Mary Murphy, and Nigel Lythgoe, and the always dull Adam Shankman.

COUPLE #1: COURTNEY GALIANO and MARK KANEMURA
STYLE (Dance #1): Viennese Waltz choreographed by Jason Gilkison (some Australian dude)
SONG (Dance #1): The Time Of My Life – David Cook

PH Commentary: Mark kept touching Courtney’s boob during the practice session, and unfortunately, that was the most entertaining footage of their first dance. It was a typical waltz, and it was nothing special. The lifts were effortless and well done, but overall, it was just boring. The judges were underwhelmed. The worst part of it all? The David Cook “Time Of My Life” song. BARF.

THEIR SECOND DANCE: COURTNEY GALIANO and MARK KANEMURA
STYLE (Dance #2): Jazz hop choreographed by Sonja Tayeh
SONG (Dance #2): The Garden – Mirah

PH Commentary: This was a dark, edgy routine choreographed by that weird woman with the half-shaved head, and it looked far more like a Contemporary piece than a Jazz routine. The choreography was awful, but they rocked it the best they could. These two dancers work well together and they made the dance look the best it could have looked. The judges just kissed choreographer Sonja’s ass, instead of talking about Courtney and Mark’s performance. They called Sonja a “dark new presence” on the show. What is this, Poltergeist? DON’T LET THE EVIL IN! Save yourselves!

COUPLE #2: KATEE SHEAN and JOSHUA ALLEN
STYLE (Dance #1): Contemporary choreographed by Tyce DiOrio
SONG (Dance #1): All By Myself – Celine Dion

PH Commentary: Reunited, and it feels soooo good! This was, by far, the best routine of the night and one of the best we’ve seen in weeks. It was a story about a “couple in love” and Katee & Josh nailed it like a foreclosing house on Extreme Makeover. Mary Murphy called it “the most beautiful thing” she’s seen on the show. Oh come on. More beautiful than the sight of Will Wingfield pretending to be humble after getting kicked off the show? Not a chance!

THEIR SECOND DANCE: KATEE SHEAN and JOSHUA ALLEN
STYLE (Dance #2): Pasa Doble choreographed by Jason Gilkison
SONG (Dance #2): Filet – Le Reve

PH Commentary: I don’t want Joshua to wear his stocking cap ever again. I hate it. It looks dirty and stupid and dated. Unless you’re a member of Naughty By Nature and this is 1993, get that shit off. Having said that, he did a great job in this creepy routine. If the guys in the movie 300 danced, this is how they would have done it. It was very powerful, and at times, I didn’t know if Joshua was going to catch Katee, or use her as a shield to defend himself against an unwieldy spear. THIS IS SPARTA! The judges loved it, and I have on doubt these two will be safe tomorrow night.

COUPLE #3: CHELSIE HIGHTOWER and STEVEN “TWITCH” BOSS
STYLE (Dance #1): Mambo choreographed by Tony and Meredith
SONG (Dance #2): Ahora Me Toca A Mi – Victor Manuelle

PH Commentary: This was one of the worst routines of the year. Not even Chelsie’s rotating hips could save it. Boring, boring, boring. Twitch did the best he could, considering he has no Latin training other than the Ortega taco shells he cooked up last night for dinner. The judges just complimented Chelsie’s “red dress” because they had nothing else to say about this boring routine, either. I think these two will find themselves in the bottom tomorrow night.

THEIR SECOND DANCE: CHELSIE HIGHTOWER and STEVEN “TWITCH” BOSS
STYLE (Dance #2): Hip Hop choreographed by Tabitha and Napoleon
SONG (Dance #2): Control – The Vitamin String Quartet
PH Commentary: This was a routine about TWO PEOPLE AND A STICK. Literally. Whoever had control over the sick got to be the conductor of the music. Frankly, Chelsie SUCKS at hip hop. Unless she’s shaking her hips, she doesn’t know what to do with herself. This routine was A-W-F-U-L and they knew it. You could literally see the disappointment in Tabitha and Napoleon’s face. After this dance, and the awful Mambo earlier in the evening, I am confident these two will be in the bottom tomorrow.

So – who will be going home tomorrow night? Stay tuned, we’ll bring you the results as soon as they go down!

[photos: Fox]

Other posts on Pophangover:

1. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #416 Review (Top 10)
2. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #417 Review (Top 8)
3. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #415 Review (Top 12)
4. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #414 Review (Top 14)
5. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #413 Review (Top 16)

THE RESULTS:

The bottom two guys tonight were: WILL WINGFIELD and STEPHEN “TWITCH” BOSS
The bottom two girls tonight were: COMFORT FEDOKE and COURTNEY GALIANO

Ultimately, Comfort and Will were kicked off the show. We’re now down to the final six dancers.

Other posts on Pophangover:

1. UPDATE: Comfort and Thayne kicked off Dance
2. UPDATE: Kourtni and Matt kicked off Dance
3. UPDATE: Kherington and Gev kicked off Dance
4. UPDATE: Chelsie and Mark kicked off Dance
5. UPDATE: Chelsea and Chris kicked off Dance

After watching this show for the last several weeks, I feel compelled to say a few things before the recap, so bear with me please:

I don’t dislike the dancers on this show (okay, fine, except Will Wingfield). I think they’re mostly a talented bunch- they work hard and it shows. What I dislike is the over the top ass kissing between the choreographers and the judges, and the blatant way the judges try to glorify their favorite dancers and attempt to manipulate the audience into voting for them. Can a choreographer deliver a stunning routine every time? OF COURSE NOT. But you wouldn’t know that if you watched this show. Do you think the judges are going to turn around and say, “Sorry, Mia, that was no good”? They are not, even though that is the truth most of the time.

An even bigger bone of contention: THERE IS NO IMPARTIALITY on this show. The fact that Will Wingfield’s mentor, Debbie Allen, is a longtime friend and one time panelist on the show proves that. If Comfort bounces her left shoulder too high for one beat in a performance, they’re all over her. But when Will stumbles and almost faceplants, it doesn’t even get a mention. Everything he does is perfect, didn’t you know?! Please. I think there is way too much favoritism, and that is grossly unfair for a talent competition of this magnitude. That’s like Cher hosting a beauty pageant and Chastity Bono winning… or Simon letting his best friend’s son on be a contestant on American Idol, and then screaming about how great he was every week. If you say something long enough and loud enough, stupid people start to believe it and buy into the hype, and that’s what is happening here.

END RANT. And now – on with the review of what was, by far, the most boring episode of the season!

COUPLE #1: COURTNEY GALIANO and WILL WINGFIELD
STYLE (Dance #1): Samba choreographed by Jean-Mark Genereux
SONG (Dance #1): I Fell In Love With The DK – Che’Nelle

PH Commentary: Will stumbled and almost fell in the first 3 seconds of the dance, and Courtney looked like an O’Cedar dust mop (complete with fringe that’s been scientifically proven to trap microscopic dust mites). Frankly, Courtney carried WILL throughout this entire performance. Will was awful. He was stiff, boring, and dull. And guess what, none of the judges mentioned his near-faceplant. Can you believe it?! The sight of him attempting to be sexy in that black mesh tank top, borrowed from Brian Kinney’s Queer As Folk club collection, made me want to vomit (and for the record, that’s no offense to Brian Kinney. I think Gale Harold would look good in a garbage bag – Will Wingfield needs a lot more help from wardrobe and makeup).

THEIR SECOND DANCE: COURTNEY GALIANO and WILL WINGFIELD
STYLE (Dance #2): Slow Hip hop choreographed by Tabitha and Napoleon
SONG (Dance #2): Like You’ll Never See Me Again – Alicia Keyes
PH Commentary: This was supposed to be a routine about a dead guy coming back to haunt the girl he loved while he was alive. Will played the part of DEAD GUY perfectly – lifeless, still, and really creepy to look at. During practice, cocky Will said this would become “So You Think You Can Dance” history. Hardly. The studio was quieter than my college library during finals week, and no one in the audience was into it at all. Awful!

COUPLE #2: KATEE SHEAN and STEPHEN “TWITCH” BOSS
STYLE (Dance #1): Contemporary choreographed by Mia Michaels
SONG (Dance #1): Mercy – Duffy

PH Commentary: This was supposed to be a routine about a psycho, co-dependent ex-girlfriend. Instead, it was a routine about… well… nothing. Here’s what happened: Katie burst through a fake door that had been brought on stage, and then the two literally MADE OUT for 10 seconds. I’m not talking a peck on the cheek… I’m talking “Katee’s tongue in Twitch’s mouth” making out. The routine was so poorly choreographed that Mia had to resort to a 10-second long kiss to divert attention from the fact that nothing else was going on. Dancing? There wasn’t any! But that didn’t stop Nigel from calling it “one of the most entertaining routines ever on the show.” Of course they did. Mia Michaels choreographed it. Are these judges on crack? Seriously. I know they can’t sit there and say “this sucked” every 5 seconds, but that would be far more realistic based on what we’ve seen tonight.

THEIR SECOND DANCE: KATEE SHEAN and STEPHEN “TWITCH” BOSS
STYLE (Dance #2): Broadway choreographed by Tyce DiOrio
SONG (Dance #2): Sweet Georgia Brown – Bubbling Brown Sugar
PH Commentary: A routine about a girl who wants a guy, but the guy is like “Bitch, please.” This was yet another incredibly boring routine, with moves straight out of a 4th grade school play. They did the best they could, with the crappy routine they were given. Of course, the judges liked it… and I think these two will be safe tomorrow night.

COUPLE #3: COMFORT FEDOKE and MARK KANEMURA
STYLE (Dance #1): Hip Hop choreographed by Tabitha and Napoleon
SONG (Dance #2): Party People – Fergie

PH Commentary: This was a routine about the stuff kids do when they’re trapped in detention after school. What a fabulous idea, right? Too bad it more closely resembled what happens in a retirement community when the lights go down. It was slow, dull, and I could have sworn I heard Comfort mumble “O 64… O SIX FOUR.” The judges were under-enthused, but said they liked it. Guest judge Toni said she takes dance lessons from Tabitha and Napoleon – so of course, she said the choreography was great. So that explains how she got on the show! Tabitha and Napoleon plucked someone from their vast celebrity talent base! (sarcasm people) Just another example of the judges and choreographers KISSING EACH OTHER’S ASSES.

THEIR SECOND DANCE: COMFORT FEDOKE and MARK KANEMURA
STYLE (Dance #2): Foxtrot choreographed by Jean-Mark Genereux
SONG (Dance #2): Lady Luck – The Brian Setzer Orchestra
PH Commentary: These two know as much about the foxtrot as Pamela Anderson knows about quantum physics. Comfort wore a nightgown, and Mark wore a tux, as they fumbled through their second boring routine of the night. The judges hated it, too. The title of the song was Lady Luck – which is what they’re going to need tomorrow, because these two are going to be in the bottom.

COUPLE #4: JOSHUA ALLEN and CHELSIE HIGHTOWER
STYLE (Dance #1): Argentine Tango choreographed by Dmitry Chaplin
SONG (Dance #1): A Los Amigos – Forever Tango (Original Cast)

PH Commentary: Officially the mos boring dance of the season. Really, guys. You have no idea. Even more painful: the routine was set to the sounds of a broken accordion. Nigel had no commentary other than it was “technical” (translation: DREADFUL). He then said Joshua has the “biggest butt in the competition.” Mary said it was “so much more sexier” than the last dance. And somewhere in America, her 5th grade grammar teacher clutched her hand to her chest and collapsed.

THEIR SECOND DANCE: JOSHUA ALLEN and CHELSIE HIGHTOWER
STYLE (Dance #2): Disco choreographed by Dorianna Sanchez
SONG (Dance #2): Everlasting Love – Gloria Estefan

PH Commentary: This was a TRAIN WRECK of a performance, which pains me to say, because these are my 2 favorite dancers on the show. I don’t know if they were tired because it was the end of a long night, or if they were in the back drinking some purple drank. Joshua looked like he was going to collapse and Chelsie was breathing harder than a Kenyan runner after mile 97 of a distance marathon. They weren’t in synch, they weren’t working together, and they quit half way through the performance. I do think they are too loved by the audience at home to be in the bottom, but we will see.

So – who will be going home tomorrow night? Stay tuned, we’ll bring you the results as soon as they go down!

[photos courtesy of Fox]

Other posts on Pophangover:

1. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #415 Review (Top 12)
2. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #416 Review (Top 10)
3. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #414 Review (Top 14)
4. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #418 Review (Top 6)
5. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #413 Review (Top 16)

Tonight’s bottom two girls: COMFORT and KHERINGTON
Tonight’s bottom two guys: MARK and GEV

In the end, KHERINGTON AND GEV were eliminated from the competition.

See you next week for more dance!

Other posts on Pophangover:

1. UPDATE: Comfort and Thayne kicked off Dance
2. UPDATE: Comfort and Will kicked off Dance
3. UPDATE: Kourtni and Matt kicked off Dance
4. UPDATE: Chelsea and Chris kicked off Dance
5. UPDATE: Chelsie and Mark kicked off Dance

Also, the teams were mixed up. The girls picked new partners out of a hat. AND, each person danced a solo along with 2 team dances. Tonight’s judges: Mary Murphy, and Nigel Lythgoe, and Lil’ C.

COUPLE #1: COURTNEY GALIANO and JOSHUA ALLEN
STYLE (Dance #1): Hip Hop choreographed by Dave Scott
SONG (Dance #1): Skippin – Mario

PH Commentary: This filled the requirement for the “odd Frankenstein routine” of the evening. Courtney had teased hair and leather pants, and looked like a sluttier version of Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny. Even though Joshua licked his lips the entire time, he was clearly the better dancer. The judges said they killed the routine. Police say no charges will be filed.

THEIR SECOND DANCE: COURTNEY GALIANO and JOSHUA ALLEN
STYLE (Dance #2): Rumba choreographed by Jean-Mark Genereux
SONG (Dance #2): Hero – Enrique Iglesias
PH Commentary: A boring, but well danced, routine that you won’t remember in the morning. You will, however, be singing HERO by Enrique for the next 20 minutes. Anyway, they nailed it like a Habitat for Humanity house. At one point, Joshua effortlessly lifted Courtney over his head like she weighed as much as a slightly bloated hot dog. They boy’s got skills. The judges liked the routine, and I am confident they’ll be safe tomorrow night.

COUPLE #2: KHERINGTON PAYNE and MARK KANEMURA
STYLE (Dance #1): Country 2-step choreographed by Ronnie and Brandi
SONG (Dance #1): Kick Back – Ty England

PH Commentary: This was the first “country 2 step” in the show’s history, and one of the choreographers was VERY pregnant. I don’t think she should have been moving the way she was moving. I’m just saying. Kherington and Mark really struggled during practice, and that struggle continued all the way through their denim-infused performance. I hated every minute of it, and so did the judges. These two looked more uncomfortable than Miss Piggy touring a Jimmy Dean factory. Kher and Mark had zero chemistry and even less trust in each other. It was a disaster. Somewhere in America, Garth Brooks cringed and shed a tear.

THEIR SECOND DANCE: KHERINGTON PAYNE and MARK KANEMURA
STYLE (Dance #2): Jazz choreographed by Tyce DiOrio
SONG (Dance #2): Canned Heat – Jamiroquai
PH Commentary: With his lace black tank top and skin-tight black jeans, Mark looked more “womanly” during this performance than Kherington did. The routine itself was boring and forgettable. Mary said it best – there was nothing particularly wrong with this routine, but there was nothing terrific about it either. I think these two are going to find themselves amongst the bottom dancers tomorrow night. I was bored and couldn’t wait for it to end.

COUPLE #3: COMFORT FEDOKE and STEPHEN “TWITCH” BOSS
STYLE (Dance #1): Smooth Waltz choreographed by Hunter Johnson
SONG (Dance #2): Open Arms – Journey

PH Commentary: I’ll put it to you this way: Matt Damon and Ben Affleck have more romantic chemistry than Comfort and Twitch. Their “sexy” routine was painful and awkward to watch. Even they seemed to know how awful it was, and they were actually laughing during their routine. These two are more like brother and sister and are not convincing at all as a couple. The judges absolutely hated the routine, too. Mary said the “quality of movement was just not there” – sort of like the Rolax watch I just bought in Chinatown. Bummer.

THEIR SECOND DANCE: COMFORT FEDOKE and STEPHEN “TWITCH” BOSS
STYLE (Dance #2): Hip Hop choreographed by Dave Scott
SONG (Dance #2): Forever – Chris Brown
PH Commentary: Um… first of all, what’s the deal with their CHEAP outfits? They came out on stage looking like they just got in a fight with a roll of aluminum foil, and the aluminum foil won. Second, Comfort and Twitch are both hip hop dancers, so I was expecting a PHENOMENAL routine. These two delivered a routine that was “average” at best. However, the judges loved it – which, to me, is just further proof this show is rigged and the judges are fake and biased. They have their favorites, and no matter what they do wrong, they praise them… and it’s becoming revolting to watch.

COUPLE #4: KATEE SHEAN and WILL WINGFIELD
STYLE (Dance #1): Broadway choreographed by Tyce DiOrio
SONG (Dance #1): Sit Dow You’re Rockin The Boat – Guys And Dolls

PH Commentary: During practice, Will wore a shirt that said “WANNA CUDDLE.” No. No I don’t. Go ask Debbie Allen. The routine was lame-o. They spent two minutes jumping in and out of a fake wooden rowboat like the Professor and the Skipper on a really boring day on Gilligan’s Island. Will was dressed like a dork, in a button down shirt with a bowtie. And in her pigtails and daisy dukes, Katee looked like a Korean whore who was having a “country girl” identity crisis. And hey guys, guess what? The judges kissed their asses! Can you believe it?! Remember guys, Will’s armpits smell like a fresh baked apple pie and, when erect, his penis reaches half way to the moon. Golden Child!

THEIR SECOND DANCE: KATEE SHEAN and WILL WINGFIELD
STYLE (Dance #2): Pas de Deux choreographed by Desmond Richardson
SONG (Dance #2): Imagine – David Archuleta

PH Commentary: Lucky us – another first for the show – a pas de deux dance! Even better, the dance was set to an awful version of Imagine by David Archuleta! Will was shirtless, and also had on a hideous pair of baggy jean shorts that looked like they were borrowed from Kirstie Alley’s closet. Katee was wearing a one piece tie-dyed bathing suit that looked like it had been accidentally dropped into some Easter egg food coloring by a 4 year old. There was no dancing in this routine – it was just Will leaping around the stage like Meryl Streep in Mama Mia, while Katee did an invisible jump-rope maneuver in the corner. They actually MADE A HUGE MISTAKE on stage… a huge fumble… during one of their turns. It was definitely the worst mess-up that I’ve ever seen on the entire season. And yet, the judges STILL kissed their asses. Lil C actually said “I feel nervous critiquing this one.” No kidding – because if you say anything bad about Will, Nigel will feed you to the wolves. Yawn, Nigel and Mary loved it. That’s right! Didn’t you hear? Will’s nose produces $100 bills instead of boogers.

COUPLE #5: CHELSIE HIGHTOWER and GEV MANOUKIAN
STYLE (Dance #1): Contemporaty choreographed by Sonya Teyeh
SONG (Dance #1): These Arms Of Mine – Otis Redding

PH Commentary: This was a supposed to be a routine about “how a new couple feels when they’re away from each other.” Instead, I felt like I was watching an awkward, pre-pubescent 5th grade dance on The Wonder Years. I didn’t really feel any emotion or any yearning. However, it was the best dance of the evening, though that’s not saying much. The judges liked it, but weren’t overwhelmed with sheer dance bliss.

THEIR SECOND DANCE: CHELSIE HIGHTOWER and GEV MANOUKIAN
STYLE (Dance #2): Jive choreographed by Jean-Mark Genereux
SONG (Dance #2): The House Is Rockin – Brian Setzer
PH Commentary: Easily the best routine of the night. Fast paced, entertaining, and fun to watch. Lil C thought Chelsie was better than Gev, but I disagree. Amazing how he criticizes Gev for doing nothing wrong, but completely glossed over Will’s HUGE fumble moments earlier. Mary and Nigel liked the routine but thought Chelsie was the clear stand-out. Don’t believe the hype. Gev did a great job.

So – who will be going home tomorrow night? Stay tuned, we’ll bring you the results as soon as they go down!

[photos courtesy of Fox]

Other posts on Pophangover:

1. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #415 Review (Top 12)
2. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #417 Review (Top 8)
3. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #414 Review (Top 14)
4. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #418 Review (Top 6)
5. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #413 Review (Top 16)

After Katy Perry sang “I Kissed A Girl” (very badly), Nigel sent Comfort and Thayne home.

Stay tuned – see you next week for more Dance!

Other posts on Pophangover:

1. UPDATE: Kourtni and Matt kicked off Dance
2. UPDATE: Susie and Marquis kicked off Dance
3. UPDATE: Chelsea and Chris kicked off Dance
4. UPDATE: Comfort and Will kicked off Dance
5. UPDATE: Rayven and Jamie kicked off Dance

Tonight’s judges: Mary Murphy, and Nigel Lythgoe, and the suddenly really annoying Mia Michaels.

COUPLE #1: CHELSIE HIGHTOWER and MARK KANEMURA
STYLE (Dance #1): Salsa choreographed by Alex di Silva
SONG (Dance #1): Fuego – Joe Bataan

PH Commentary: Chelsie said the routine’s tricks were INSANE… you know, like Crazy Eddie’s prices. It was fun and fast, but I was too distracted by Chelsie’s peacock dress to enjoy it. She literally had a huge feathered plume floating above her ass, and it was a little “much.” The judges really liked it… but Mia Michaels seemed to like CHELSIE more than the dance. She spent 2 minutes foaming at the mouth over how “hot” Chelsie was and then psychotically said, “You’re so gorgeous I want to stab you with a knife.” Mia Michaels IS a big lezzie, right?!

THEIR SECOND DANCE: CHELSIE HIGHTOWER and MARK KANEMURA
STYLE (Dance #2): Broadway choreographed by Tyce DiOrio
SONG (Dance #2): I’m A Woman – Smokey Joe’s Cafe

PH Commentary: When they were done with practice, Chelsie said, “That’s a W-A-R-P!” Err, a WARP? Mark had to cut in and say, “Uh, she meant W-R-A-P.” So she’s either a moron, dyslexic, or a really big fan of Back to The Future. The routine itself was overly dramatic, and neither of them are good actors so it sort of tanked. Their performance was more over the top than an arm wrestling match with Sylvester Stallone. The judges agreed – they weren’t thrilled by it, either. I don’t think it matters… I think they will be safe tomorrow night.

COUPLE #2: COMFORT FEDOKE and THAYNE JASPERSON
STYLE (Dance #1): Hip Hop choreographed by Tabitha and Napoleon
SONG (Dance #1): Can We Chill – Ne-Yo

PH Commentary: Comfort was really excited to finally get to dance hip hop, but was worried about Thayne’s inability to stop smiling. An ear-to-ear grin isn’t appropriate for hip hop. Nothing says “intimidating” like seeing someone’s back molar.

I really liked this routine, and thought they did a good job. Comfort really brought it… even though her high top sneakers were so high that they almost reached her outer labia.

The judges slammed them, and said they had no chemistry. Whatever. This isn’t 8th grade science class, and they weren’t dancing on stage illuminated to the flickering glow of a bunsen burner, so shut up.

THEIR SECOND DANCE: COMFORT FEDOKE and THAYNE JASPERSON
STYLE (Dance #2): Contemporary choreographed by Mandy Moore
SONG (Dance #2): A Different Corner – George Michael
PH Commentary: A decent routine, but one you won’t remember tomorrow morning. It wasn’t nearly as bad as the judges made it out to be. Nigel said he wanted to see “another couple dance the routine” because they didn’t dance it well. Mia praised Thayne but wasn’t so thrilled with Comfort. Mary hated it and said it wasn’t believable… which is, coincidentally, also what I said when I found out Jonah Hill had a girlfriend. Expect to see them in the bottom three tomorrow.

COUPLE #3: JESSICA KING and WILL WINGFIELD
STYLE (Dance #1): Contemporary choreographed by Tyce DiOrio
SONG (Dance #2): Silence – Unfaithful (Soundtrack)

PH Commentary: Choreographer Tyce DiOrio said this routine was symbolic of “The Garden Of Eden.” Ok, fine. Maybe the snake there would have enjoyed this routine, but that’s about it. It was incredibly corny. Will actually had a LOINCLOTH on. To me, it looked like they were doing the Presidential Fitness Challenge onstage… doing sit-ups and push-ups and sweating like Whitney Houston under a heat lamp.

The judges RAVED about this routine. Shocking! Their boy Will was involved. Remember, he can do no wrong. Didn’t you know? Not only is shit odorless, but just a tablespoon of it also prevents spots from forming on your glassware in the dishwasher.

THEIR SECOND DANCE: JESSICA KING and WILL WINGFIELD
STYLE (Dance #2): Quick Step choreographed by Tony and Meredith
SONG (Dance #2): Bandstand Boogie – Barry Manilow
PH Commentary: The routine opened with Will doing back handsprings across the stage like Mary Lou Retton on speed. I think they were trying to distract us from the fact that these two SUCK at the quick step. The judges didn’t like the routine either! I can’t believe it! They said something bad about Will! I’m half expecting a pig to fly past my window. Mia Michaels did, however, continue the WILL ASS KISSING FEST. This bitch actually said, “Will, you look tired of carrying her. You look like you need a new partner.” Cue my jaw dropping to the floor.

COUPLE #4: COURTNEY GALIANO and GEV MANOUKIAN
STYLE (Dance #1): Cha Cha choreographed by Anya and Pasha
SONG (Dance #1): Don’t Stop The Music – Rihanna

PH Commentary: This was a great routine – I didn’t divert my eyes from the performance for even a minute. It was fast, well executed, and fun to watch… even though Courtney looked like she was covered in those awful chocolate gold coins that people give you around the holidays but you never eat because they taste like ass.

Mary said the routine was “magic.” Nigel said there was a “great connection” (unlike any phonecall on the AT&T network), and Mia Michaels said it was “fabulocity at its best.” My God. Can she shut up now? I AM SO OVER MIA MICHAELS.

THEIR SECOND DANCE: COURTNEY GALIANO and GEV MANOUKIAN
STYLE (Dance #2): Jazz choreographed by Mandy Moore
SONG (Dance #2): Standing There – The Creatures

PH Commentary: Another fun routine from Court and Gev! They were dressed like Indiana Jones, and the routine consisted of a lot of jumping while aimlessly pointing at a map. I liked it a lot, and so did the judges.

COUPLE #5: KHERINGTON PAYNE and STEPHEN “TWITCH” BOSS
STYLE (Dance #1): Krump choreographed by Lil ‘C
SONG (Dance #1): 2 Buck 4 TV – Tha J-Squad

PH Commentary: Let me get S.A.T. on your asses. Kherington is to “Krump” as Amy Winehouse is to “Sober.” In other words, Kherington’s about as KRUMP as Estelle Getty. Twitch is one of my favorite dancers, so I’m sad to say this routine was a MESS. They dressed Kherington in BLACK RUBBER PANTS and she just looked ridiculous. She couldn’t KRUMP her way out of a paper bag. Their footwork was off and there was no intensity whatsoever. But the judges disagreed with me – they loved it. I’m not sure what they were watching, because this routine reeked worse than the set of a Sweatin To The Oldies infomercial.

THEIR SECOND DANCE: KHERINGTON PAYNE and STEPHEN “TWITCH” BOSS
STYLE (Dance #2): Tango choreographed by Jean-Mark Genereux
SONG (Dance #2): Dreaming With A Broken Heart – John Mayer
PH Commentary: OH-MY-GOD-HOW-AWFUL. We all hated this routine here. It was just really bad. They looked like they were moving in slow motion. Kherington was spinning in circles in a black and white skirt, and the resulting psychedelic pattern looked like it could have hypnotized people in the first 5 rows if they stared at it long enough. The judges absolutely hated their performance as well. They said it wasn’t technical, it wasn’t emotional, and it wasn’t “raw.” I don’t think that will matter come tomorrow night. I think America likes this couple far too much to allow them to be in the bottom 3. Let’s see if I’m right.

COUPLE #6: KATEE SHEAN and JOSHUA ALLEN
STYLE (Dance #1): Waltz choreographed by Jean-Mark Genereux
SONG (Dance #1): Iris – The Goo Goo Dolls

PH Commentary: What can I say? It was the waltz. I enjoyed the Goo Goo Dolls song more than the performance. They nailed the “through the legs” snake move but I just found myself bored. The judges were very underwhelmed, too. They called it “bouncy” and “okay.”

THEIR SECOND DANCE: KATEE SHEAN and JOSHUA ALLEN
STYLE (Dance #2): Bollywood choreographed by Nakul and Marla
SONG (Dance #2): Dhoom Taana – Om Shanti Om (Soundtrack)
PH Commentary: This was the first Bollywood dance of the season, and I thought it was just… weird. The routine was a cross between Aladdin, and something you’d see at a bellydance/stripper hybrid bar. I was half expecting to see Ravi Shankar in the corner playing a sitar, or Mike Myers to start promoting his stupid Love Guru crap again. Overall the routine was fun though, and the judges loved it… even though the two of them sounded like giant walking TAMBOURINES with all the jangles they had on them.

So – who will be in the bottom 3 tomorrow night? I am predicting:
COMFORT FEDOKE and THAYNE JASPERSON, JESSICA KING and WILL WINGFIELD, and COURTNEY GALIANO and GEV MANOUKIAN.

We’ll bring you the results as soon as they go down!

[photos courtesy of Fox]

Other posts on Pophangover:

1. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #416 Review (Top 10)
2. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #417 Review (Top 8)
3. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #414 Review (Top 14)
4. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #418 Review (Top 6)
5. So You Think You Can Dance Episode #413 Review (Top 16)