STARTING NOW: New Rules for 11/13/08
Published on: November 13, 2008 – 1:08 pm by Jillian Madison 
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Starting Now: New Rules
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STARTING NOW: No more Guitar Hero “Risky Business” parody commercials, with D-list celebrities playing air guitar to “Old Time Rock ‘N Roll” in their underwear. It’s not working. Seeing David Cook in a pair of tightie whitie’s isn’t making me want to play Guitar Hero… it’s making me want to buy him a penis pump. |
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STARTING NOW: The talking E-Trade baby has to shut the hell up. Didn’t we learn anything from Look Who’s Talking Too? Talking babies aren’t cute… they’re creepy and annoying. And besides, if I wanted financial advice from someone who throws up 3 times a day and has a limited vocabulary, I’d call Lindsay Lohan. |
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STARTING NOW: CNN reporters aren’t allowed to claim they’re talking to someone via hologram, when the whole interview is computer generated and is done on a green screen. We’ve been duped! It’s really just some guy standing alone in a room talking to himself! What is this, a news broadcast or Friday night at the Clay Aiken household? |
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STARTING NOW: People shouldn’t feel pressured to give their mailmen gifts around the holidays. Come on, mailmen, why so needy? You’re already getting a great salary and federal benefits just for dropping off junk mail. But now you need a re-gifted $6 bottle of wine to know I care? I don’t think so. If you want additional perks as a reward for doing your job, try your luck at Chippendales. |
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