I hate award shows. What the hell difference does it make if Kate Winslett or someone else wins an Oscar? Either way I have to get up the next morning, hit the phones and hear purchasing agents tell me they’re in a ‘holding pattern’ until the economy picks up.

Here’s another thing, let’s cut their acceptance speeches down to oh….say two seconds. Just long enough to say thanks. We don’t care about your agent, that guy at the corner flower shop who told you to take acting lessons, your expert political views honed and crafted from playing make-believe for a living, or the people back at casting who’ believed in you’.

Oh and another thing…hey media? Anniston vs. Pitt vs. Jolie? Has there really not been anything else to talk about in the last five years? Isn’t that writer strike over? Time for some new stories!