5 People I Never Want To Hear About Again: A Rant
Published on: June 24, 2009 – 4:10 pm by Jillian Madison 
Comment
The media reports the same 12 stories about the same 12 people day in and day out. It’s exhausting, and I’m sick of it. Effective immediately, my fellow bloggers and friends in the media, I never want to hear about the following morons EVER AGAIN:
I don’t care if she’s fucking Brian Austin Green again this week. I don’t care if she just got the Virgin Mary tattooed on her clitoris. I don’t care if she wants to hook up with Angelina Jolie, and I certainly don’t give a shit that she didn’t accept a yellow rose from a questionably gendered kid. LET IT GO.
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I don’t care about these two single-brain-celled morons or their 8 completely indistinguishable, completely obnoxious children. I don’t care if they’re getting a divorce. I don’t care about John’s bald spot or Kate’s lesbionic mullet. And frankly, neither should you.
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I don’t care about these dirty looking creeps or their super secret off-screen relationship. I don’t care about his fake drawn-on ab muscles or her new fugly Joan Jett haircut. Leave them alone to bite each other’s unshowered necks in peace.
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I don’t care about her lame face make-up, her fake paparazzi video, her wigs, or that she set fireworks off from her disfigured tits. Screw her and her homely poker face.
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I don’t care if they’re married. I don’t care that they have sex every Tuesday. I don’t care that they hate Al Roker. I don’t care about his revolting flesh colored beard or her Kim-Zolciak rejected hair extensions. And I certainly don’t give a shit about their appearance on I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. They’re the two most useless people on Earth, and I never want to hear the term “Speidi” EVER AGAIN.
Other posts on Pophangover:
June 24th, 2009
so funny! i agree with every one of these. i’d also like to add angelina jolie and brad pitt to the list.
June 24th, 2009
“revolting flesh colored beard” — lmfao word
June 24th, 2009
These people are all nobodies, completely unworthy of any article being written about them, anywhere. Especially Heidi/Spencer and John and Kate. Um, what do you do again? Nothing? That’s what I thought.
June 24th, 2009
Jillian I love you
June 24th, 2009
100% agree!
Plus, I think you watch The Soup. The “revolting flesh colored beard” just proves it.
June 24th, 2009
I don’t watch The Soup! I guess it’s just an obvious observation that people who hate Spencer naturally notice.
June 24th, 2009
I agree with you 100%. Except for Megan Fox and the fabulous Lady GaGa. May Heidi and Spencer return to the jungle and catch syphilis of the eyeballs.
June 25th, 2009
Amen!!!! I can’t stand hearing about any of these people anymore. You know there are many serious things happening in the world right now, and the last thing I want to top my local news, is Jon and Kate cheating on each other.
June 25th, 2009
Amen. Not so sure about Pattinson. Maybe next year we will all be sick of him. But you are so spot on with the others.
As for the Soup, they should ask you to write for them cause you are way funnier. Shall I make some calls on your behalf ?
June 25th, 2009
[...] 5 people we never wanna hear about again. [...]
June 25th, 2009
@ Ryan: “the fabulous Lady Gaga”…
I think not. It’s like someone took Britney Spears aside and said “hey, let’s try this newfangled electronic stuff”. Edgy and eccentric, novel or “fabulous” , my arse.
June 30th, 2009
The Soup started the flesh colored beard thing. Long live Joel McHale!
June 20th, 2010
You must be a faggot of a fat chick if you are sick of MEGAN FOX !
June 20th, 2010
I get it, Megan Fox is one hot bitch. SHE CANNOT ACT! SHE IS, IN FACT, AN ACTRESS. If I had a penis, I’d put my P in her V, but please make her stop talking.
Also, please stop talking about this Twilight crap. Crappy books, even crappier movies. For f*cks sake, when I was 12, we read Harry Potter, but at least that was a good book.
Add JBiebs to this list. I can’t wait for him to get some pubes and quickly be replaced.