First Look: Big Brother 2009 Housemates
Published on: July 2, 2009 – 3:32 pm by Jillian Madison 
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Big Brother season 11 starts on Thursday July 9 at 8 pm. That can only mean one thing: time to make petty comments on the new housemates based solely on their appearances!
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BRADEN Our First Impression: rejected soap opera actor. Hair gel, two watches, and a smug smile? All the signs are there: this tool must have a tiny peen. |
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CASEY Our First Impression: Wal-Mart jewelry department manager |
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CHIMA Our First Impression: The transvestite was figurine of Diana Ross |
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JEFF Our First Impression: camp counselor for kids age 5-8 (or, the Crocodile Hunter in training) |
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JORDAN Our First Impression: she looks like everybody and nobody, all at once. BORING. |
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KEVIN Our First Impression: why does this tool have one of Rosie O’Donnell’s old flannel shirts wrapped around his neck? |
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LAURA Our First Impression: poor Laura… too old for the Junior Miss pageant circuit and too dumb for Miss America |
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LYDIA Our First Impression: wait a minute, who let Brigitte Nielsen back on television? |
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MICHELLE Our First Impression: why is my grandmother’s dental hygienist on Big Brother? |
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NATALIE Our First Impression: can she not afford shirts? Or a hair brush? (Oh, and I love her chunky brown headband from 1993. OR NOT.) |
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RONNIE Our First Impression: this guy enjoys a humble existence in his mother’s basement, where he spends his days fashioning doll clothes out of HER SKIN. |
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RUSSELL Our First Impression: what a gigantic tool. His nickname is “Russell the Love Muscle.” And honestly, that’s funnier than anything I could have possibly written here. |
(photos courtesy of CBS)
Other posts on Pophangover:
July 2nd, 2009
oh i lol’d
Russell must spend hours on end on hair removal.
July 3rd, 2009
Kevin’s neck thingy looks like my old bed spread. Same color and pattern.
July 3rd, 2009
Kevin looks FAAAAABULOUS!
July 6th, 2009
They REALLY should change the rules of this show and include include many more deadly weapons. If this show was about Off’ing people one week at a time… Kevin would blow most of them up with some sort of glitter bomb, but ultimately Wal-Mart clerk Casey is the serial killer in that bunch.