CW Coins Corniest Tag Line Ever For New Melrose Place
Published on: September 4, 2009 – 10:40 am by Jillian Madison 
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In yet another example of television bastardizing memories of my youth, the CW’s new version of Melrose Place premieres next week. Their tag line? “NO APARTMENT BUILDING HAS EVER BEEN SO… COMPLEX.” Dear God. That’s so bad, my eyes are bleeding. Who wrote that? Billy Campbell after a night partying with Michael Mancini after Jane dumped him? Amanda Woodward never would have approved that shit.
Anyway, the series opens with Violet (played by Ashley Simpson) discovering a dead body floating in the pool. Police suspect some douchebag named David, but soon find out everyone in the COMPLEX is batshit crazy enough to have killed someone. Ashley Simpson’s character is naïve, has a dark side, and hails from a small town.You can tell, because her sleeves are rolled to her elbows and she’s wearing denim shorts.
The new Melrose Place premieres Tuesday, September 8th. Watch it if you dare.
Other posts on Pophangover:
September 4th, 2009
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September 4th, 2009
Violet needs to ask herself how she got her apartment. The property manager must think she is some kind of mental case.
September 8th, 2009
Can they just cancel this show NOW, please? What a train wreck.
September 8th, 2009
JillS- YES!!!! Thank you! Just cancel this show now before they kill off any more brain cells of the American public. I LOVED the original & this is just ruining a classic show. I will only watch it if the old cast comes back. The new cast is ugly, lame, & boring. Seriously, that chick that plays Riley looks like a man in drag. And the acting is horrible! Until they get rid of all the new characters, I will not waste my time with this garbage.
September 16th, 2009
a body floating in the pool and we have no idea who the killer is because everyone is crazy enough to have done it. Did chaiken have anything to do with this monstrosity?