8 Ugliest Items At American Apparel
Published on: March 22, 2010 – 10:12 am by Jillian Madison 
Comment
American Apparel used to be cool. They made soft, 50/50 t-shirts and hoodies that any torso would love to be wrapped in. But now, they’re making hideous stuff that I wouldn’t let near my body with a ten foot pole. Want proof? Take a gander at the ten ugliest/stupidest “new” items currently for sale on their website:
 |
Hooded Swimsuit: Totally stupid and completely ridiculous. I guess these days, nothing says “sexy” like a huge wad of sweaty nylon fabric bunched up behind your head. |
 |
Stripe Satin Charmeuse Bow Headband: I don’t want to live in a world where people think it’s cool to look like a traveling Carnie. |
 |
Mad Andy Crew: Truly hideous. It’s supposed to be Andy Kaufman, but it looks more like Mel Gibson moments after he got beheaded in Braveheart. Who wouldn’t want to wear that moment! |
 |
Nylon Spandex Lace Long Sleeve Mini Dress: Great. Now all she needs is a Whitesnake video and a car to slither around on, and she’ll be allllll set. |
 |
Shiny Hoody: Look, ma! It’s a gigantic bedazzled hoody! Somebody tell this moron that only Bea Arthur – or a visiting space alien – could pull off that look. |
 |
Thigh-High Sock: Jesus Christ. If you want your entire leg covered, here’s a thought: WEAR PANTS. |
 |
Mesh Big Pocket Tank: Mesh tank tops are never, ever okay. Especially when you’re as dorky looking and pale as this guy. |
 |
Chambray Jumper Pant: Is this bitch serious? She looks like Sarah Silverman after getting thrown out of a mime school in France. |
Did we miss any ugly items? Let us know in the comments!
Other posts on Pophangover:
March 23rd, 2010
I saw someone the other day walking through the city wearing a shiny hoody. And all you heard from passerbys was “mumble mumble mumble SHINY!! mumble mumble mumble”
March 23rd, 2010
Chambray Jumper Pant? Sexy! I don’t know about the top, but the pants and beret are definitely available through the Vermont Country Store or my mother-in-law’s estate sale.
March 23rd, 2010
That dude in the shiny hoody does not look like the father of a solid gold dancer.
March 23rd, 2010
Our local American Apparel closed its doors after only a year or two. These are clearly 8 reasons why.
March 23rd, 2010
lol, the Heaven’s Gate gold hoodie guy looks like he’s getting ready to climb aboard the Hale-Bopp comet. Also, didn’t mesh tank tops go out in the mid 80’s (much to my dismay)?
March 23rd, 2010
I disagree with a couple of these, but I see your point, and there’s nothing wrong with being pale. But the gold hoodie.. probably the best thing I’ve seen all week. The expression on the guys face just makes it ten times better.
March 25th, 2010
I know it’s a little besides the point, but the hooded swimsuit girl has a rockin’ bod.
March 26th, 2010
HAHAHA, The company I work for produces the Andy shirt, I said from the beginning when we first got the art that it was the ugliest shirt I have ever worked on.