People sure do love Pepe’s Pizzeria on Wooster Street in New Haven, CT! A quick google search yields overwhelmingly rave reviews, and people are more than willing to wait in line for over an hour just to get a table there. What I want to know is this: ARE YOU PEOPLE CRAZY? Who’s writing these reviews? All the cousins of the extended Pepe family?!

Pepe’s is overrated. Period. And I’m banning it. The clueless masses are more than happy to buy into the “if everyone loves it, it must be good” hype. The truth is, Pepe’s serves the worst pizza I have ever eaten in my life.

I live five miles from the restaurant. I’ve waited in the lines. I’ve feasted on the various “world famous” pizza pies. And I’ve left disappointed, every time. Sure the place is filled with history, and yes, they cook in a coal oven, but so what? The result is a tired, dated restaurant and pizzas that are so chewy and hard you can hardly swallow them.

Unfortunately, the problems with this restaurant go far beyond some unedible crust. My issues with Frank Pepe’s Pizzeria are as follows:

1. You’re not allowed to set foot into the sacred restaurant until there’s a table ready for you, yet the only waiting area they have is a joke. It’s basically a 3×8 coat closet that reeks of body odor, ammonia, and vomit. You’re resigned to stand there, like a child being punished, until a rude waitress, bitter she had to stop what she was doing, calls for you.

2. The staff is rude and the “service” is poor. They act like they’re doing you a favor by taking your order. They huff and puff if you ask a simple question. And just a tip: don’t dare ask for a straw, unless you want to be looked at with the contempt of an axe murderer.

3. I’ll deal with standing around for hours, and I’m willing to endure rude service, IFif the food is really good. However, PEPE’S PIZZA IS DISGUSTING. I can not emphasize that enough. I was motivated to write this review after my last (and final) trip to Pepe’s over the weekend. My sister’s boyfriend was visiting from out of town, and simply had to go to Pepe’s after seeing it featured on the Food Network. I warned him about how awful the pizza was, but he wanted to go anyway. I begrudgingly obliged.

We ordered a simple large cheese pizza, and received a dry, cheeseless, virtually tasteless pie. This is the norm at Pepe’s, not the exception. The dough is so chewy and hard that you can hardly swallow it. The crust, which is usually one of my favorite parts, is completely unedible. The cheese is exceptionally salty. The tomato sauce is bland. All you taste is soot and salt, and it’s simply awful. My sister’s boyfriend didn’t even eat one whole piece; he just sat there, shifting around in the uncomfortable Pepe’s booth, staring at the dry shoe leather on his plate with disgust.

And for those wondering, Sally’s pizza is better, but not my much. It’s still pretty gross, too.

Check out this video we shot at Pepe’s during our last visit and make up your own mind. Does THIS look like “the world’s best pizza” – or cardboard that was just flattened in a compressor at the dump? Look at it! IT DOESN’T EVEN BEND! And that’s not a good thing. It’s more dried up than Jerry Seinfeld’s career. Happy viewing.

Pepe’s Pizza – New Haven, CT from pophangover on Vimeo.

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