Budweiser Beer Bottle Telephone: The Verdict
Published on: July 4, 2008 – 11:25 am by Jillian Madison 
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(…ring, ring…) Hello?
(spiritual voice): Hi, this is your dignity calling. I wanted to point out that you’re talking into a FAKE BEER BOTTLE, you asshole!
I am BANNING the Budweiser Beer Bottle telephone. Why? The only thing more pathetic than a drunk dialer is the sight of a grown-up SOBER dialer screaming a pizza order into the side of a beer bottle.
Yes, I’ll take “you’re a loser” for $500, Alex. Oh, and extra cheese please.
If you’re thinking about buying one and can get over being referred to as “that loser with the beer phone,” you should also know the sound quality on this thing is just awful. It looks like it was the prize in a Cracker Jack box that got half-eaten and then sat on by Camryn Manheim.
Not only that, but this phone morphs your voice into something barely recognizable as human. Case in point: my friend Joey called me from one last night, and it took me 4 minutes to realize who I the hell I was talking to. I didn’t know if it was Jodie Foster calling from the set of Contact 2 to share some deep space noises with me, or Harvey Fierstein wanting to do dinner and the new Angelina Jolie movie.
There is one pro: guys, it like, totally has a redial button. Say it with me: “wow.”
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