STARTING NOW: New Rules, week of 9/29/08
Published on: October 1, 2008 – 2:51 pm by POPHANGOVER 
Comment
Starting Now: New Rules
 |
STARTING NOW: Stop showing men in hair restoration commercials flying around on jetskis and splashing around in swimming pools, like they’re extras in some rejected Kathy Lee Carnival cruise ship ad. What’s the point? To prove your plugs won’t fall out? I’ll take your word for it. I don’t need to see Hurricane Katrina raining down on your head as proof. |
 |
STARTING NOW: You’re not allowed to work at a car dealership unless you’re knowledgeable about the car you’re trying to sell me. If you think “torque” is something you twirl your spaghetti with, you need to quit your job immediately and get a job somewhere more suited to your talents – like governor of Alaska. |
 |
STARTING NOW: No more “how to survive in the wilderness” television shows. Every time I turn around, there’s some asshole on my TV pretending to be roughing it in a rain storm, showing me how to angle eucalyptus leaves to catch rainfall. Listen dipshit, I already learned that stuff from Sly Stallone in Rambo. Teach me something useful, like how to get the hell out of the woods without 12 cameramen following me and a compass shoved up my ass. |
 |
STARTING NOW: When you buy something from me on eBay, you have to pay for it ALL AT ONCE. I just sold a shirt to a guy who wanted to pay me $10 this week and $10 next week. Like I have time for that bullshit? It’s eBay… not Layaway-bay. |
Other posts on Pophangover:
October 2nd, 2008
I could write an entire novel on why eBay sucks! I have moved on to greener pastures!