STARTING NOW: New Rules for 10/5/08 and 10/12/08
Published on: October 17, 2008 – 9:42 pm by Jillian Madison 
Comment
Starting Now: New Rules
 |
STARTING NOW: Attention, old bald guys: close your convertible tops when it’s cold outside! If you have to get more bundled up than an Islamic woman on Ramadan just to go get milk, perhaps you should just close the roof. And besides, you’re not impressing that hottie in the car next to you… you’re contracting pneumonia. |
 |
STARTING NOW: Enough with Sarah Palin’s folksy bullshit. Last week during her debate with Joe Biden, she flirted with the camera more than a Chinese call girl in a Jay-Z video. From now on, I don’t want to see her winking at anyone unless she’s battling a corneal abrasion. |
 |
STARTING NOW: If you’re on Celebrity Apprentice with Donald Trump, you have to actually BE a celebrity. The cast of the upcoming season was recently announced, and it includes Annie Duke, Natalie Gulbis, and Brande Roderick. If you just said “WHO?” more times than the Tootsie Roll Pop owl, you just proved my point. |
 |
STARTING NOW: If I go out on a run with you, and I stop to tie my shoe, don’t stand there jogging in place giving me dirty looks like I just ruined your workout. We’re doing a leisurely 10 minute mile, and as soon as we finish, we’re going to Wendy’s. So get the hell off my case. |
 |
STARTING NOW: Actors need to stop making sequels to movies that were made 20 years ago. Kevin Costner is in talks to make a sequel to Bull Durham, which was released in 1988. Please. Costner’s pushing 60. He should be greeting people at the door at Wal-Mart… not trying to convince me he can still field a ball on a nasty hop. |
 |
STARTING NOW: Stop using actors with accents in commercials. Just because that lady sounds like she just crawled out of Queen Elizabeth’s ass, doesn’t automatically make her a good candidate to sell me a douche. |
 |
STARTING NOW: Solicitors who come to my door need to use the 30 second rule. If I don’t come to the door after 30 seconds, they must immediately leave. Go harass my neighbor. Go lie down in the street. I don’t care. Just don’t stand there ringing my bell more times than Anita Ward. |
 |
STARTING NOW: People have to stop using the word “BITTER” when describing a divorce. Obviously it’s bitter. The bitch just walked away with your house, your dog, and your entire collection of vintage, handcrafted bongs. So stop stating the obvious. And let’s leave the word “bitter” to describe something far more relevant… Simon Cowell’s semen. |
Other posts on Pophangover:
October 18th, 2008
lol these are great
October 18th, 2008
I especially liked the Palin one but I have to keep it going with a site I came across…
MrsVeep.com. Just move and click your mouse around. It will have you rolling too.
October 19th, 2008
ha!
we need some strict ground rules about old people and their shriveled spinal cartilage driving unchaperoned on city streets.
i say we get them all Flintstones cars and let them shuffle around all in one lot together. no harm done.
October 19th, 2008
LAUGHING MY ASS OFF AT THIS:
Costner’s pushing 60. He should be greeting people at the door at Wal-Mart… not trying to convince me he can still field a ball on a nasty hop