Real World New Orleans Chat Transcript

REAL WORLD NEW ORLEANS
CHAT TRANSCRIPT

The folks at E! Online Entertainment recently held a Q+A session with Melissa and Kelley of the Real World New Orleans. Some of the things they said were absolutely ridiculous and worthy of a few comments. You can find the entire chat transcript here.

QUESTION: What was your reaction when you were first told you were going to be on The Real World?

KELLEY: I was really excited, but they called me at work, so I didn't have a chance to get really, really excited until I got off my shift. I went home, sat on my floor and started yelling and yelling.

MTVIXEN JILL: She also ran to Barnes and Noble to buy a book called "How To Pick Up A Doctor In New Orleans."

QUESTION: Melissa, what's a Tampa girl doing wearing a thick winter coat?

MELISSA: What no one knows is that I lived in North Dakota before, and my parents insisted I bring a coat to New Orleans in January. It was freezing when we first arrived. Listen, it's called a ghetto coat. People need to leave my coat alone!

MTVIXEN JILL: A ghetto coat? Whose ghetto, exactly? Grandma Moses?

QUESTION: If you could meet any member of the old Real World, who would it be?

KELLEY: I'd probably want to meet Janet from Seattle. She seems really down-to-earth, smart and fun to hang out with in general.

MTVIXEN JILL: I can just hear their first phone conversation:

Janet: Let's hang.

Kelley: Definitely. Like, totally.

Janet: We should just totally chill.

Kelley: Dude, I'd love to just hang.

QUESTION: What drove you to want to always be "the star" of the show?

MELISSA: I was not that star-fixated.

MTVIXEN JILL: Melissa's nose then grew 4 inches.

QUESTION: Who was portrayed the least truthfully?

KELLEY: Jamie wasn't portrayed very well at all.

MTVIXEN JILL: What a shocker. Idiots usually aren't portrayed very well.

QUESTION: How tempting was it to corrupt Julie? Does she get a lot wilder later in the season?

KELLEY: I can't comment on that, but we definitely broadened her horizons.

MTVIXEN JILL: Rumor has it Julie got really wild. She drank a can of Jolt cola after midnight and traded in her Mormon underwear for a large pair of Jockey For Her.

QUESTION: What are some of the things that happened in the house that we won't see?

MELISSA: Judging by the last two episodes, I hope everything.

MTVIXEN JILL: Oh, yeah, because the last two episodes were so chock-full of interesting, embarassing moments. Damn it, where's my soy sauce?

QUESTION: What do you think of the Road Rules cast?

MELISSA: They were really great. And Latterian is FINE. I wish they would have put him on Real World!

MTVIXEN JILL: Please. Latterian would have laughed at the "ghetto coat" too.

QUESTION: Kelley, what was it like to be the house mom?

KELLEY: I don't know about being the mom, because I don't think anyone needed one. But, I think I was very supportive of Danny. What you didn't see was before Paul showed up, I sat down with Danny and told him all of my most embarrassing stuff to make him less nervous, because he was so incredibly nervous. Anyway, I'm glad that didn't make it in.

MTVIXEN JILL: Kel, you should know better than to feel relief. You're not safe from the editing crew yet. We all know how Bunim/Murray love to create their own timelines.

QUESTION: Did you guys ever mess around with the show's production crew?

KELLEY: Yep. Melissa did it all the time--it was the funniest thing, but you'll never see it. The cameras would shake because they were laughing so hard.

MTVIXEN JILL: If I filmed Melissa applying lipstick, I would have been cracking up too.

QUESTION: Melissa, you seem wild and crazy. Does that get you into a lot of trouble?

MELISSA: No, not really. People start to get used to it.

MTVIXEN JILL: And then, after 4 seconds, they grow inexplicably tired of it.

QUESTION: What's it like to see yourself on TV?

MELISSA: Ewwwww. That's all I can say.

MTVIXEN JILL: Finally, we agree on something.

QUESTION: It's rumored the Road Rules cast played a joke on you guys...any truth?

KELLEY: Maybe.

MTVIXEN JILL: Ooh, be careful. You wouldn't want to reveal too much now.

QUESTION: What was your first impression of everyone?

MELISSA: Jamie--gorgeous. Kelley--gorgeous. Danny--gorgeous. Matt--gorgeous. Wait, no Matt's cute.

MTVIXEN JILL: Haha. I just found it amusing that Matt was demoted from "gorgeous" to "cute" from someone who never leaves home without a bag of rice. Must be those orange sunglasses.

QUESTION: Did you ever feel you had to do something outrageous to keep viewers interested?

MELISSA: No. I've lived in this body for 23 years, so I think I'm incurably retarded!

MTVIXEN JILL: Once again, we're in complete agreement.

QUESTION: What do you think about people saying you guys are the best-looking cast yet?

KELLEY: They're saying that? Well, thanks! We're touched!

MTVIXEN JILL: Uhh, actually, people are saying this is the most BORING cast ever.

QUESTION: What advice do you have for people who want to apply for future shows?

KELLEY: Definitely keep an open mind, because it would kick your ass when you realize you don't know some stuff.

MTVIXEN JILL: That, and never, ever, cover your private parts with shaving cream (ahem... COLIN...)

QUESTION: What's the most common question you get asked?

MELISSA: Was it fun?
Did you like Mardi gras?

MTVIXEN JILL: Can I please shove Matt's glasses down the garbage disposal??

QUESTION: How was the trip to South Africa?

MELISSA: I think the group got a kick out of seeing my struggle with the heat.

MTVIXEN JILL: I think a struggle with a large African elephant would have been much more entertaining.

QUESTION: Why did you have that big bag of rice with you?

MELISSA: That's my special, special brand of rice. I have to have it, because I've been eating it since I was four.

MTVIXEN JILL: Uh, you were going to New Orleans - not the moon. I think they have little places called "grocery stores" there.

QUESTION: Do you have any acting aspirations?

MELISSA: No, I don't. I don't think I would be a very good actress.

MTVIXEN JILL: Me neither.

QUESTION: How did the people in New Orleans treat you?

KELLEY: For the most part, everyone was really, really nice--except for the drunk people throwing stuff at us.

MTVIXEN JILL: Hey, you don't have to be drunk to mistake a few of the real worlders for caged zoo animals.

QUESTION: Did anyone on the show get to take home that cute little robot dog?

KELLEY: No, but I'm sure it will be on eBay or something.

MTVIXEN JILL: Also on Ebay - the dollar bills that covered Melissa's boobs and the couch David soiled during all those nights of hooking up (ew).

QUESTION: How many hours of the day were you really busy, and how long were you just sitting around killing time?

KELLEY: Seventy-five percent killing time and 25 percent busy. We were bored a lot of the time. Really bored!

MTVIXEN JILL: Fascinating. And we're wondering why we're bored 100% of the time?

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QUESTION:	What was your reaction when you were first told you were going to be on The Real World?
KELLEY:	I was really excited, but they called me at work, so I didn't have a chance to get really, really excited until I got off my shift. I went home, sat on my floor and started yelling and yelling.
MTVIXEN JILL:	She also ran to Barnes and Noble to buy a book called "How To Pick Up A Doctor In New Orleans."

QUESTION:	Melissa, what's a Tampa girl doing wearing a thick winter coat?
MELISSA:	What no one knows is that I lived in North Dakota before, and my parents insisted I bring a coat to New Orleans in January. It was freezing when we first arrived. Listen, it's called a ghetto coat. People need to leave my coat alone!
MTVIXEN JILL:	A ghetto coat? Whose ghetto, exactly? Grandma Moses?

QUESTION:	If you could meet any member of the old Real World, who would it be?
KELLEY:	I'd probably want to meet Janet from Seattle. She seems really down-to-earth, smart and fun to hang out with in general.
MTVIXEN JILL:	I can just hear their first phone conversation: Janet: Let's hang. Kelley: Definitely. Like, totally. Janet: We should just totally chill. Kelley: Dude, I'd love to just hang.

QUESTION:	What drove you to want to always be "the star" of the show?
MELISSA:	I was not that star-fixated.
MTVIXEN JILL:	Melissa's nose then grew 4 inches.

QUESTION:	Who was portrayed the least truthfully?
KELLEY:	Jamie wasn't portrayed very well at all.
MTVIXEN JILL:	What a shocker. Idiots usually aren't portrayed very well.

QUESTION:	How tempting was it to corrupt Julie? Does she get a lot wilder later in the season?
KELLEY:	I can't comment on that, but we definitely broadened her horizons.
MTVIXEN JILL:	Rumor has it Julie got really wild. She drank a can of Jolt cola after midnight and traded in her Mormon underwear for a large pair of Jockey For Her.

QUESTION:	What are some of the things that happened in the house that we won't see?
MELISSA:	Judging by the last two episodes, I hope everything.
MTVIXEN JILL:	Oh, yeah, because the last two episodes were so chock-full of interesting, embarassing moments. Damn it, where's my soy sauce?

QUESTION:	What do you think of the Road Rules cast?
MELISSA:	They were really great. And Latterian is FINE. I wish they would have put him on Real World!
MTVIXEN JILL:	Please. Latterian would have laughed at the "ghetto coat" too.

QUESTION:	Kelley, what was it like to be the house mom?
KELLEY:	I don't know about being the mom, because I don't think anyone needed one. But, I think I was very supportive of Danny. What you didn't see was before Paul showed up, I sat down with Danny and told him all of my most embarrassing stuff to make him less nervous, because he was so incredibly nervous. Anyway, I'm glad that didn't make it in.
MTVIXEN JILL:	Kel, you should know better than to feel relief. You're not safe from the editing crew yet. We all know how Bunim/Murray love to create their own timelines.

QUESTION:	Did you guys ever mess around with the show's production crew?
KELLEY:	Yep. Melissa did it all the time--it was the funniest thing, but you'll never see it. The cameras would shake because they were laughing so hard.
MTVIXEN JILL:	If I filmed Melissa applying lipstick, I would have been cracking up too.

QUESTION:	Melissa, you seem wild and crazy. Does that get you into a lot of trouble?
MELISSA:	No, not really. People start to get used to it.
MTVIXEN JILL:	And then, after 4 seconds, they grow inexplicably tired of it.

QUESTION:	What's it like to see yourself on TV?
MELISSA:	Ewwwww. That's all I can say.
MTVIXEN JILL:	Finally, we agree on something.

QUESTION:	It's rumored the Road Rules cast played a joke on you guys...any truth?
KELLEY:	Maybe.
MTVIXEN JILL:	Ooh, be careful. You wouldn't want to reveal too much now.

QUESTION:	What was your first impression of everyone?
MELISSA:	Jamie--gorgeous. Kelley--gorgeous. Danny--gorgeous. Matt--gorgeous. Wait, no Matt's cute.
MTVIXEN JILL:	Haha. I just found it amusing that Matt was demoted from "gorgeous" to "cute" from someone who never leaves home without a bag of rice. Must be those orange sunglasses.

QUESTION:	Did you ever feel you had to do something outrageous to keep viewers interested?
MELISSA:	No. I've lived in this body for 23 years, so I think I'm incurably retarded!
MTVIXEN JILL:	Once again, we're in complete agreement.

QUESTION:	What do you think about people saying you guys are the best-looking cast yet?
KELLEY:	They're saying that? Well, thanks! We're touched!
MTVIXEN JILL:	Uhh, actually, people are saying this is the most BORING cast ever.

QUESTION:	What advice do you have for people who want to apply for future shows?
KELLEY:	Definitely keep an open mind, because it would kick your ass when you realize you don't know some stuff.
MTVIXEN JILL:	That, and never, ever, cover your private parts with shaving cream (ahem... COLIN...)

QUESTION:	What's the most common question you get asked?
MELISSA:	Was it fun? Did you like Mardi gras?
MTVIXEN JILL:	Can I please shove Matt's glasses down the garbage disposal??

QUESTION:	How was the trip to South Africa?
MELISSA:	I think the group got a kick out of seeing my struggle with the heat.
MTVIXEN JILL:	I think a struggle with a large African elephant would have been much more entertaining.

QUESTION:	Why did you have that big bag of rice with you?
MELISSA:	That's my special, special brand of rice. I have to have it, because I've been eating it since I was four.
MTVIXEN JILL:	Uh, you were going to New Orleans - not the moon. I think they have little places called "grocery stores" there.

QUESTION:	Do you have any acting aspirations?
MELISSA:	No, I don't. I don't think I would be a very good actress.
MTVIXEN JILL:	Me neither.

QUESTION:	How did the people in New Orleans treat you?
KELLEY:	For the most part, everyone was really, really nice--except for the drunk people throwing stuff at us.
MTVIXEN JILL:	Hey, you don't have to be drunk to mistake a few of the real worlders for caged zoo animals.

QUESTION:	Did anyone on the show get to take home that cute little robot dog?
KELLEY:	No, but I'm sure it will be on eBay or something.
MTVIXEN JILL:	Also on Ebay - the dollar bills that covered Melissa's boobs and the couch David soiled during all those nights of hooking up (ew).

QUESTION:	How many hours of the day were you really busy, and how long were you just sitting around killing time?
KELLEY:	Seventy-five percent killing time and 25 percent busy. We were bored a lot of the time. Really bored!
MTVIXEN JILL:	Fascinating. And we're wondering why we're bored 100% of the time?