THE SUCK FILES:
BRITNEY SPEARS SUCKS!

BRITNEY SPEARS SUCKS.
Britney Spears just screams "I BELONG IN A DOUBLE WIDE TRAILER."

How can one not laugh at her trashy outfits, kiddy porn pics, bad plastic surgery, fake hair, and the fact that in one day, Spears applies more makeup than Tammy Faye Baker would wear in a year?

The thing is, Britney is full of crap. She claims that she wants to be taken seriously as an artist, and that she wants to be respected, but she parades herself around like a cheap, two-bit whore who was pulled fresh from 42nd street.

In a nutshell, Britney is here in the SUCK column simply because I wanted to hang myself when I heard her rendition of "Satisfaction." She has zero talent. And worse than that, she possesses the most terrible stage/camera presence I have ever seen. I recently saw her on the Conan O'Brien show and I actually felt quite embarrassed for her. She wreaked of low self esteem and her stupidity actually oozed out of her pores with each word she spoke.

Britney's fan base consists of ignorant teeny boppers, horny 12 year old boys, and pedophiles in jail. She will never break into the mainstream music scene (or at least the college-aged market.) Everyone I know thinks her voice is the most god awful thing they have ever heard, and even the boys admit she looks "a tad over done" and has "no talent". As my friend Kevin so eloquently put it, "If I ever took her home to my mom, my mom would disown me." Yikes.

Britney Spears is the laughing stock of the entertainment industry. The same people who have her on their show one minute are cracking jokes at her expense before she even gets off the stage. And behind closed doors, she is the one people are poking fun at. Outside of the "teen dream world" the simple fact is: she's not respected, she's not taken seriously.

The only thing Spears is good for is a laugh.

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